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Even White Boys Have to Shout
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| CSI slash fanficrant |
[06 Jan 2010|08:04pm] |
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I'm new around here - hopefully I'm doing this right!
Dear CSI slashers - some of you are fantastic writers, amazing scenes and all.
However, writing a story with Nick and Greg drunk off their asses and staying at Catherine's house to sleep it off - only to have the boys end up doing other things besides sleep (duh) ... well that could get a bit noisy, wouldn't it dear writer? So it would be hard to miss the racket in the guest room, yet you keep telling everyone asking about Catherine's whereabouts that she was asleep the whole time. I'm calling shenanigans on that one, dammit!
Now, onto something else - that might be a (smutty) fandom-general problem: ( Conditioner is not your friend )
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[06 Jan 2010|11:01pm] |
Dear Star Trek Reboot writer:
So you ship Kirk/Spock. That's fine. But there's that pesky Spock/Uhura getting in the way. No big deal; canon's never stopped a shipper before. I was happy to see that you actually showed Spock and Uhura's relationship falling apart instead of going with one of the four standard plots ("Spock realizes Kirk is his soulmate and dumps Uhura," "Uhura realizes Kirk is Spock's soulmate and dumps Spock," "Uhura and Spock broke up for some reason, on to the slash!" and "let's ignore Uhura's existence"), however I have some issues with how you build up to the break-up.
Uhura is not going to suddenly start wanting Spock to behave like the perfect human boyfriend. She is not going to expect romantic dinners and flowers, and she certainly isn't going to expect him to guess what she wants without giving him any hints (much less discussing things) and then be sulky and passive-aggressive when he doesn't figure out.
Spock's attraction to Uhura is not completely intellectual. Yes, that's a factor, and probably a pretty important one, but he isn't dating her just because he wanted to talk about the latest issue of Xenolinguists Monthly with someone. Their relationship is not cold and passionless. And if he doesn't understand why she's acting strangely, he'd ask and try to understand. He might insult emotions, humans, and human courtship rituals, but he'd still ask.
Finally, how can you have Spock and Uhura break up because she's too emotional and human and can't cope with Spock's Vulcan-ness and then expect your readers to believe Kirk/Spock will work? The only thing Kirk has going over your portrayal of Uhura is that he'll skip the passive and go straight to aggressive, and that might give Spock a clue that Kirk is unhappy.
EDIT for typo.
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| Another HP rant |
[06 Jan 2010|10:29pm] |
It's 1991, and Hogwarts letters have gone out to all incoming first years. One letter, however, has not reached its intended recipient, because Harry Potter is nowhere to be found.
Now imagine that, right around this time, Professor Severus Snape shows up at Hogwarts with a young boy in tow. A young boy aged about 10 or 11. A boy with a shock of black hair, and unusually green eyes. Who is extraordinarily magically gifted. And speaks Parseltongue. And calls himself Harry Patterson.
How the fuck does no one make the connection? Fail!plot line is made of fail. Someone is going to be asking questions, even if Snape is doing his darnedest to make sure that no one does. And by "doing his darnedest," I mean "simply not telling anyone that Harry Patterson = Harry Potter."
ETA: I know that Harry's being a Parselmouth doesn't come out until the second book, but the author makes particular note of the "oh shit, they're gonna figure it out because of the Parseltongue thing," so it was another instance of *headdeask* for me.
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| Writers in video game fandoms, please take note: |
[06 Jan 2010|07:26pm] |
Real people don't have hit points. Neither do they have magic/spirit/whatever points. So it's kind of jarring when you refer to a character as having five HP left in the middle of a dramatic scene, and really weird when your mage starts doing math in the middle of a fight to calculate exactly how many spells she can cast with the MP she has left. D:
On a similar note... despite how it may work in RPGs, potions and other heal items generally work best when consumed, not when thrown in an injured teammate's general direction. (Your guess is as good as mine when it comes to heal items that do not seem like they'd be particularly edible, but hey, you're a writer! Creativity is your thing, right?)
Is a little bit of realism too much to ask for...?
ETA: The above only applies to serious fic - I'm all for joking around with game mechanics for the sake of humor, but it doesn't work so well when you're trying to convey how horrible it is that Character A is at death's door.
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| Oh look... Daddy's smacking Junior again... |
[06 Jan 2010|07:19pm] |
Dear writer.
I like your fics, I really do. You have a great sense of plot, your dialog is fun and snappy, and your characterization is good.
Except for *one* character that is.
Why for the love of little green apples is Dad suddenly the most *violent* SOB around. The sheer amount of mental and pyshical abuse he heaps on his son are just staggering. And it's not just one fic, it's all of them that you write with him appearing.
Only he never struck his son, not *once* in canon. He loves him enough in fact to *die* for him and has always been proud of his child's accomplishments. So where you're getting this evil abusive version when everyone else is spot on just baffles me.
And it ruins the whole fic.
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| New Member posting! ^_^ |
[06 Jan 2010|08:28pm] |
To the reviewer who responded to a slash fic:
Please don't post a paragraph-long, homophobic rant about how much you're SO disgusted and dissapointed at the slash pairing, and then stick in the sentence: "I don't actually have anything against gay people in real life." If you're homophobic, FINE. There's no need to be a hypocrite as well.
( Read more... )
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| It's my favorite pairing, too. D: |
[07 Jan 2010|10:17am] |
I am so glad you wrote this pairing; it's one I adore and a rare one even in its already-rare fandom. I am not so glad about how you wrote them.
First, she's something of an innocent in sexual and romantic things, and he likes the parts of her that are innocent and wouldn't want to ruin them. You said this in your fic, actually, which was Doing It Right. Having them shrug this off after a couple paragraphs and sexor randomly anyway? was Doing It Wrong.
Next, she's not going to jump into bed with... anyone. It would never "just happen" as the fic said, and certainly not because she initiated and wanted it. She is the type of person who has other priorities, is not sexually experienced, and would need to develop some sort of real connection first, which they don't have at this point and you did not develop or explain in the fic. Oh, and she slapped him for trying to touch her in canon. Jumping into bed with him in a fic set in the same episode? No.
Now let's get to the sex itself, because that's sexy. Only, not. It was written like very awkward teen sex. This would actually be a refreshing change from most smut fic and fit for her, but the problem is that you made the awkward all about him. He is pretty much the opposite of an awkward teen; he is confident and self-assured and suave; not to mention mature enough to be a mentor figure and a leader. You could convince me he's not sexually experienced if you went from a 'he'd be too demanding and not consider anyone good enough and worth the chase' angle, but you cannot convince me he'd be made of awkward fumbling.
Last, he is a very emotional person, yes. But these emotions are kept very firmly internalized. When they start to threaten to affect his judgment, we see him do anything to shove them down and act only according to his rational goals and motivations. This? Does not really describe the sort of person who'd cry over having good sex and suddenly be in touch with the emotions he's been denying so well that even he is unaware of some of them. (Healing vagina instead of healing penis? Should we count that as novel?)
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| Sense Make Not |
[06 Jan 2010|07:02pm] |
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You wrote a long, supposedly plotty fic with what appears to be an amusing storyline and everything. I won't know for certain because I won't be reading it. Why in the world, after a good lead in and summary, do you feel the need to bash not only a secondary character, but the actress who plays her in your author's notes?
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| Glee rant |
[06 Jan 2010|07:44pm] |
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Puck should probably not be described as "sweeter than usual." This implies that he is usually sweet. That's kind of like describing Sue Sylvester as "more reasonable than usual." On the other hand, given that in this fic he is - without any development or explanation - the ~best boyfriend ever~, just slightly gutter-minded, likes being called Noah, and enjoys going for long walks in the park with Kurt while holding hands and talking about their future children, that phrase really isn't a problem at all.
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| Yes, another blood donor rant (how hard can it be to get it right, people?). |
[07 Jan 2010|01:28am] |
This is the scenario that I encountered in a otherwise (semi)decent fic.
This guy had an accident. Apparently he has burst his aorta. It's very tragic, especially when he passes out in his saviours arms. He's taken to a hospital for he needs emergency surgery.
But, oh! There has just been a major car accident so the blood bank are depleted. And our hero has the rare blood type A+ so his parents are called in so we can find out which one of them can donate to our anaemic champion.
But there is a deep dark secret lurking! His father is not the real father! The suspense is immense. The real father finds out about our brave mans plight and freely gives of his life blood. Anonymously, of course. We would not want the reveal to happen to early, do we?
( Now let's take a moment to talk about all the points in which this story fails: )
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| Off with their hea-oh, wait wrong country... |
[06 Feb 2010|05:08pm] |
I know that we're all not the best at history. It's fine to get dates, events, etc mixed up and all, so what if it's just a small fact to keep your historical fanfiction going? I don't mind that at all.
But, when you're writing a fanfiction about aristocracy still existing in Russia, drinking tea out of silver samovars (no, it's not caviar, caviar is a type of fish eggs, dear) , after (key word, after.) the Russian Revolution, while your whole plot takes place in the Soviet Union, (communism=/=aristocracy), well I have an objection to that. Also keep in mind, that not every Russian person says 'da' at the end of every sentence, I understand that if you use a little bit, but the entire page coming up with over four hundred 'da's out of a 3K fic, is well...da, that's fail, forgive me for using da, and cause da, da...er...da?
And what's worst, it's CANON in their verse that the Soviet Union was around (takes place after WWI, starts with WWII, Soviet Union comes in), so I'm expecting just a tiiiny bit of y'know, historical accuracy. And the 'I've read Anna Karenina' doesn't work in this case.
Love and a history textbook,
Me.
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| [ SECRET POST #1097 ] |
[06 Jan 2010|03:29pm] |
⌈ Secret Post #1097 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
101. 
( More! )
Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 120 secrets from Secret Submission Post #157.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
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News: DnD Sandbox
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[06 Jan 2010|10:45am] |
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http://feeds.penny-arcade.com/~r/pa-mainsite/~3/tUDc1d_mBCY/ Gabe: The overarching story-line of my D&D game involves my players traveling the world thwarting the machinations of Tiamat's many heads. I treat each head as a sort of self contained "season" with a beginning,middle and end. I also try and make each season different in terms of game play and storytelling. When it came time to move on to the Green Head I wanted to do something very different. Up until now my game has been on rails. I don't think that's a bad thing, in fact it has allowed me to plan out some really cinematic encounters. I was ...
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